Tips for Mature Adults

They say forty is the new thirty.
It must follow then that sixty is the new fity, seventy is the new sixty and so on.

For those of us over fifty, getting up in the morning feels more like eighty some days! But, there is no denying that growing older is not what it used to be. People are working longer, retiring and starting new careers and surviving diseases that would have killed them a generation ago . It truly is a brave new world when it comes to aging. The old gray mare ain't what she used to be...she's doing yoga, volunteering, trying out new hobbies and staying young looking longer. Her husband, in the meantime, finds himself with options such as bionic knees, new heart drugs and Viagra. All these changes present the aging with new opportunities....and new problems.

On this page we hope to present you with some ideas for blazing new trails into the mature years. For if you are over fifty, you truly are a trail-blazer....an explorer of that brave new world of living longer, healthier and more actively than any generation before you.

Click on one of the following links to begin your exploration.

Dealing with Change

Marriage After Retirement

Memory and Aging

The Challenges of Care Giving

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MARRIAGE AFTER RETIREMENT

As the baby-boomer generation approaches retirement, we often read about issues such as whether this generation has saved enough money to live comfortably, how they will impact the nation’s health-care system and how they may be more active in retirement than any before it.

However, we don’t read much about what may happen domestically.   What is it going to mean for families who must navigate through two retirements and the ensuing social and emotional adjustments which must be made? How will issues such as care-giving and marriage change with this changing landscape for retiring baby-boomers?

Two-income couples have often lived their married years with separate career goals, often differing work schedules and a focus on success. Upon retirement, these couples find themselves facing the prospect of being with each other all day every day in their post-work years.

This requires a re-definition of the married relationship, or trouble may ensue.

The average working couple may engage in as little as 20 minutes per day of conversation.   Finding something to talk about after retirement may be the least of the couple’s problems. Finding mutual goals in the retirement years may be the couple’s most important concern.

An early indicator of the problems this may be creating is the increase in so-called “gray divorces”. Until the year 2000, people over 55 had fewer divorces than the general population. Since 2000, that number has been growing.

WHAT TO DO?

If you are among the baby-boomers who are rapidly approaching retirement, you have probably been planning all along for it financially. But, if you haven’t been planning for it emotionally as a couple, now is the time to start talking about it.

Begin to talk to your spouse about his or her dreams and goals for retirement.

Are you on the same page? Do you dream of spending most of your days on the golf course while she has dreams of the two of you traveling together? Then you may have a problem. You may find your retirement goals are very different. Beginning to talk now about compromise and sharing ideas for the future may help you avoid some major conflict later on.

Here are some questions to ask yourself and each other:

What does retirement mean to you?

Do you have elderly parents who will need care, and if so who will be responsible?

How will retirement income be managed?

Do you plan to sell your home, to downsize or to purchase a second home?

How will you share the household chores?

Do you have a hobby you’ve always wanted to pursue or a skill you’ve always wanted to learn?

Do you expect to do everything together or do you prefer to remain somewhat independent in retirement?

What sort of daily routine do you expect in retirement?

What are your expectations for your sex life, and do your expectations match?

What health issues do you expect to have to deal with and are you prepared for them?

SECOND ADULTHOOD

We are living so long now, that some refer to retirement as our “second adulthood.” The kids are raised and gone (hopefully), responsibilities are reduced and time stretches before us ready to be filled. NOT making plans for filling that time can lead not only to problems in the marriage, but issues such as depression and waning health.

If we are wise, we’ll use this “second adulthood” as an opportunity for growth and for mining our own creativity. This is the time to write that book, learn that new skill, see the world or indulge in the volunteerism you always desired to do. Many retirees find they are happiest if they are working part-time somewhere because it keeps them engaged with the world and gives them a reason to get up in the morning.

America’s baby-boomer generation has a unique opportunity to be the most productive retired generation ever known. With our knowledge and skills, we have much to offer the upcoming generation and the world as medical science keeps us alive and healthy longer. Perhaps embracing that opportunity together – as a couple – can be the most exciting way to approach the “second adulthood.”

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Memory and Aging

We all know the feeling.

You’ve lost your keys. You’re SURE you put them on the table by the door as usual, but they’re not there. You search and search, becoming more frustrated by the minute when suddenly you find them in your pocket or on the kitchen table. How could you have forgotten putting them there? Are you losing your mind? Could it be dementia or an early indicator of Alzheimer’s disease?

Chances are, it’s nothing serious. So many things can affect memory, including stress, distractions, and an alteration in routine. And yes, age.

Brain scientists believe that the effects of normal aging on memory may result from subtle changes within our brains. So, to understand how aging affects memory, we need to look at natural changes in the brain as well as how we store memories.

HOW AGING AFFECTS MEMORY

With aging, our brains lose cells in areas that produce important neurotransmitters (chemicals that carry information between neurons).   The decrease in the number of these cells and their ability to make the

enzymes necessary for good memory function upsets the delicate balance of these chemical messengers.

Other changes occur in the brain’s white matter. This part of the brain contains nerve cell fibers….the “telephone cables” of the brain …through which communication with other cells takes place. How these changes affect memory is not entirely clear, but it may be that they make cell-to-cell communication less efficient.

STORING NEW MEMORIES

As we get older, our ability to create new memories may also be affected, making it more difficult to learn new things. It’s not that we forget more easily; we may simply take longer to learn information in the first place.

In practical terms, this means as we get older we may have to pay closer attention to new information which we wish to retain. We may also need to try different strategies to improve learning and trigger memories.

Once the information is learned, however, it is retained equally well in all age groups, even though older people may need a bit more time to learn it and perhaps to retrieve it. A substantial number of 80-year-olds perform as well as people in their 30’s on difficult memory tests.

OTHER ISSUES

Don’t always jump to the conclusion if you can’t remember something, you may be slipping mentally. Forgetting may actually be almost as important as remembering. Retaining every single bit of information you’ve been exposed to throughout your life would be disastrous. For this reason, your brain sorts out what will and won’t become long-term memory depending on your needs.

How this happens is a matter of continuing debate among researches, however, it’s generally accepted that memory function is influenced by factors such as:

emotional state

stress level

environment

previous memory

biases

perceptions

WHAT YOU CAN DO

Continuing to learn new things throughout your life can help keep your brain healthy and your memory sharp. Read, learn a new language, learn a new card game, learn a skill that combines brain function with manual dexterity like knitting or wood-working. All these things are exercise for the brain and will help you keep your memory.

Stay involved and engaged with friends and in the community. Make sure you have a reason to get up in the morning and a goal to achieve every day. The rocking chair may be a popular retirement image, but it’s bad news for memory and brain function.

Stay physically active. Walking, swimming, dancing or anything else that gets your heart rate and respiration up a bit (within safe parameters according to your doctor’s guidance) keeps your blood flowing and your brain oxygenated.

Eat a healthy diet devoid of too many sweets and artificial flavors and sweeteners which can cause fuzzy thinking and lethargy. Fresh vegetables, fish, nuts, low fat quality proteins and lots of water are all good brain foods. Avoid excessive alcohol consumption and tobacco.

Don’t hesitate to check with your doctor if you believe your memory is slipping. Catching medical problems like diabetes and vascular problems early on can help you avoid dementia later on in life. In addition, many often-prescribed medications can cause fuzzy thinking and memory problems, so talk to your doctor if you think that may be the case with you. A simple adjustment in dosage or formulation can make all the difference in the world.

WISDOM

Also, realize as you get older you know more and can understand how to use what you know in the best and most efficient ways. In other words, as you get older…you get better at selective memory.

That’s called WISDOM and it can serve you well.