A LOT OF US WANT TO MAKE BIG CHANGES IN OUR LIVES.
Lose twenty pounds…stop smoking…make a million dollars…buy a house…get a new job…have a better marriage.
It is laudable to have goals and work toward them. Unfortunately, it is common for many of us get stuck while working toward our goals, because we see them as overwhelming. We feel we’ve bitten off more than we can chew, so we give up before we ever really begin.
That’s why it’s important to understand the importance of small changes.
Small changes are less intimidating. They are achievable. And as long as the long range goal is on the horizon, small changes are how we get to the big changes we dream about.
HOW TO CLIMB A MOUNTAIN
Imagine you’re going to climb Mt. Everest. If you make the climb looking up on the summit the entire time, you’re likely to stumble around and get tired and discouraged. While you’re still in the foothills you’ll find your determination waning and your strength disappearing. The mountain is too high, the distance too great, the effort seems impossible. So you give up.
But, what if you concentrate on taking just one single step?
One step is achievable, isn’t it? You can always take just one step! And after you’ve taken that one step, you can take another…and then another…and another. If you keep your head down and concentrate on only the step you are taking each step of the way, and if you don’t stop, it is inevitable that eventually you will make it to the summit.
WHAT IS YOUR MOUNTAIN?
What if your goal is weight loss? Let’s say you have twenty pounds to lose. Perhaps you’ve been trying to lose that same twenty pounds for years. But, every time you try, you find yourself giving up after four or five pounds because you can’t stop thinking about the other fifteen you have to lose, and it’s overwhelming.
If twenty doesn’t seem achievable, then set a smaller goal. Determine to lose five pounds. Or, if even that is overwhelming, set your goal at a single pound!
Do you think you could lose one single pound? What changes you would need to make in your life to lose one single pound? Perhaps you could cut out one soft drink per day for a couple of weeks. After you lose that one pound, go through the process again. What would it take to lose one single pound again? Perhaps you could use a sugar substitute in your morning coffee for a couple of weeks or you could take a short walk each day during your lunch hour. Keep setting and achieving your one-pound goals. Eventually, you’ll find yourself achieving your twenty-pound weight loss goal in spite of yourself!
Or what if your goal is to quit smoking? If you smoke a pack a day, could you break one of those cigarettes in half and smoke all but that half? If you managed that for a month, could you throw away one entire cigarette out of the pack as soon as you open it and smoke the rest of the pack each day for the next month? After you get comfortable with that, perhaps you could break another in half and smoke all but one and one-half cigarettes of the pack.
Small changes make big differences in our relationships too. The biggest small change you can make in any relationship is through praise. Find something, anything, for which you can praise or thank your spouse, child or other loved one. At least once a week, make a point to share that praise. Appreciation of family members tends to open doors to closer, more intimate relationships. Once you begin complimenting your loved one, it becomes easier and you can build on it until you are saying something positive to him or her every day. And chances are those positive feelings will be coming back to you from your loved one. All it takes is one kind word of appreciation.
PLANNING
Concentrating on making small changes also helps us focus on the planning that is needed to achieve major goals.
If you want to change careers, there are steps you must take to achieve that goal. You have to update your resume, scan the paper and internet job sites, set up interviews, decide whether you are willing to relocate and maybe even go back to school.
The task may seem overwhelming unless you break it down into bites you can swallow. After all, each step toward your goal includes many other smaller steps. So, it’s helpful to sit down and write down every single step in the process…right down to buying the paper for your resumes. If you are easily overwhelmed by a task like this, put each small step on a 3 by 5 card with a date by which you want to have that step completed and carry it with you until you achieve that portion of the process. Keep the other cards out of sight until you are ready for the next step. When you have gotten through all your 3 by 5 cards, you will have achieved your goal.
MIND GAMES
Using 3 by 5 cards may seem silly, but sometimes we have to play mind games with ourselves to get where we want to be. Working to achieve goals…even positive ones such as we’ve mentioned…can be stressful. Breaking them down into achievable mini-goals will not only reduce the stress, but as you achieve each mini-goal you will have something to celebrate. Nothing breeds success like success. As you celebrate each small success you will find yourself more confident about your ability to achieve your long-term goal.
You can be creative about breaking your goals down into manageable increments. You might create a calendar and check off each step as you complete it or celebrate each achievement with a small reward.
BE NICE TO YOURSELF
However you choose to make your small changes, be kind to yourself along the way. If you’ve tried to lose that twenty pounds for twenty years, you’ve probably come to view yourself as a failure. Self-hatred gets in the way of achievement. You’re not going to go out of your way to help someone who disappoints you over and over again…especially if that person happens to be yourself. Making small changes is a great way to learn to like and respect yourself again. Achieving those small steps will reassure you that you are in fact a person who is capable of self-control and success.
