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ARCHIVES
FOLLOWING IS A COLLECTION OF ARTICLES WE HAVE PRESENTED OVER THE YEARS. WE HOPE YOU ENJOY WANDERING THROUGH OUR ARCHIVES.
February is the month we celebrate love.
Typically, we think of Valentine's Day as a romantic holiday. Fancy Valentine cards, frilly boxes of chocolate and bouquets of roses decorate office desks and kitchen tables everywhere.
Yet, there are all kinds of love. Why not celebrate them all this month?
Thank someone for his or her friendship, do something nice for a neighbor, visit a shut-in, hug your children, tell your siblings and parents what they mean to you, smile at everyone you see.
Our wish for you this month is that you appreciate all the different kinds of love in your life, give thanks for it and then spread it around.
ACCORDING TO A RECENT REPORT, AMERICANS ARE STILL THE MOST GENEROUS PEOPLE IN THE WORLD.
Despite the threat of terrorism, the war, a struggling economy, tornadoes and floods, Americans are the first to step up and lend a hand when disaster strikes anywhere in the world. Although there is always room for improvement, most Americans realize we are blessed beyond measure, so we reach out and share our abundance where and when we can.
As you celebrate Independence Day this month, our wish is that you and your family count your blessings as Americans...then look around to see how you can share them.
"If we do not lay out ourselves in the service of mankind, whom should we serve?" - John Adams
IN AERODYNAMIC TERMS, THE BUMBLEBEE CANNOT FLY.
He's too fat and his wings are too short and stubby. Fortunately, no one told this to the bumblebee. So, come spring he flies and flits about with the honeybees and butterflies and other more elegant aerial acrobats happily unaware that what he is doing is impossible.
What do you think you can't do? Did someone tell you couldn't draw when you were a child? Did someone tell you you couldn't sing or write or dance? Were you told you weren't smart or that you'd never succeed in life or that you weren't good enough or attractive enough? Do you still believe them? Have you ever examined that belief? What if they were wrong?
Our wish for you this March is that you will begin to examine your beliefs about yourself and your abilities.
Spring is a time for new beginnings. Make the bumblebee your example. He believes he can fly. What would you do if you believed you could do anything?
Why not try?
MANUEVERING THE HOLIDAY DIET MINEFIELD
MAINTAIN CONTROL
If you head over the river and through the woods to grandmother's house...and you arrive ravenous, you're probably in big trouble. The smells that greet you as you go in the door will sweep away any will-power you may have had. So, don't go hungry. Before heading to a family dinner or office party have some warm broth or a high protein snack such as cheese or nuts. Taking the edge off your appetite will help you maintain control when you face a buffet table full of your favorite goodies.
DON'T CONFUSE FOOD WITH MEMORIES
Our sense of smell is so evocative. It brings back memories of childhood, special times, excitement and that wonderful feeling of security you probably had as a child. Your grandmother's green bean casserole may smell like your childhood, but it is not. Try to stay in the moment while you're eating. Stop when your stomach just begins to feel full. Let hugs and warm conversation feed your need for those memories.
DON'T FALL PREY TO GUILT
Your mom slaved all day on this wonderful dinner. Won't she be hurt if you don't stuff yourself? Well, she might be a little offended. So, be prepared. Ask her if you can take some leftovers home with you so that you can enjoy them when you are not so full. Then, if the food you bring home isn't on your diet, share it with someone who isn't dieting.
BE REALISTIC
There is no holiday treat which can't be enjoyed any other time of the year. It's not a now or never proposition. You don't have to eat the pie and the homemade rolls. Be choosy. Eat some of your absolute favorite dishes and remind yourself you can have the rest another time.
BE PREPARED
Take a deck of cards or a board game to your holiday get-together. Then after the football games when everyone else is pulling the leftovers out...suggest a game. Or pull out the photo albums and ask family members to share some memories. Let the emphasis be on sharing time together beyond the time spent eating.
DON'T FORGET TO ENJOY YOURSELF
Don't spend the holidays feeling sorry for yourself because you can't eat everything you think you want or deserve. Get the most out of the holidays by enjoying the whole spectrum of holiday traditions including music, decorating, entertaining, celebrating your religious traditions and being with family and friends. There is so much more to the holidays than food.
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THE GIVING IN THANKSGIVING
Writer and theologian Os Guinness said the key to happiness is this..."Do what you are but not for yourself."
As you begin to plan for Thanksgiving get-togethers, remember to keep the focus on giving. The greatest blessings come from selfless acts. When those acts also express who you are through your gifts and talents, the blessings overflow.
Share whatever it is you do best. Bake cookies for a homeless shelter, write a letter to a lonely soldier, tend to the elderly in your neighborhood, baby-sit for a single mom, volunteer in a soup kitchen or sing at a nursing home. Whatever your gift, share it this Thanksgiving. You will discover your blessings multiply every time you share your gifts.
Our wish is that you and yours have a blessed Thanksgiving...through giving.
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SHOULD CHRISTIAN PARENTS ALLOW THEIR CHILDREN TO CELEBRATE HALLOWEEN?
Thomas More said, "The devil...the proud spirit cannot endure to be mocked."
Halloween has become a source of worry among some Christian parents. Should they allow their children to celebrate the occasion? Isn't it a Satanist celebration? Are we putting our kids at risk by letting them participate? What about fall festivals?
There is no denying that for ancient people such as the Druids this was a celebration based in fear. According to Anderson Rearick of Mt. Vernon Nazarene College, the holidays that marked the great seasonal changes, "...were often fearful, terrible and dark. But, the coming of Christ brought light to those times."
Halloween is the eve of All Saints Day which falls on November 1. All Saints Day is associated with Martin Luther and the Reformation and is a celebration of the religious freedoms which were won at that time.
For most of us, Halloween brings back memories of home-made or store-bought costumes, bobbing for apples, hay rides, bon fires, trick-or-treating and carving pumpkins into jack-o-lanterns. If there was a scary aspect of the day, it was all in fun. Unfortunately, there is a small element of society which has attempted to kidnap the day for its own purposes. It is those who wish to celebrate the dark side who have parents nervous.
That's why Halloween may be a good time to talk to older children about the dangers of the occult. They need to understand that Satan and the "principalities" of which the Bible speaks are very real and should be taken seriously. Then think of ways to bring Christ into the day. For instance, take a walk in the woods and give thanks for the fall colors. Talk about how the animals store nuts and seeds for the winter as part of God's plan for them. When trick-or-treaters come to your door, hand out Bible tracts along with candy. Or if your kids are trick-or-treating, have them "trade" Bible tracts for the candy they receive.
If you're not comfortable with them trick-or-treating through the neighborhood, you may want to check with your church or school to see if they are holding fall festivals. These are safe, fun gatherings which usually don't allow scary or occult-influenced costumes. Or, you might want to provide a safe and fun environment in your own home for your children and some of their friends. Then you can set your own rules about costumes and entertainment.
All these ideas will serve to help turn back the darkness and bring the light of Christ into the day...in effect "mocking" those who wish to bring evil into it. And your children will learn that there is no dark art or principality which the light of Christ cannot banish.
For more information on taking back Halloween, we recommend the following book which can be found on the Focus on the Family Website:
Redeeming Halloween: Celebrating Without Selling Out. By Kim Wier and Pam McCune.
Information for this article was gathered from Christianity Today and Focus on the Family.
FINDING JOY IN THE ROUTINE
With the arrival of August, the dog days of summer are upon us. The three hated H's...hazy, hot and humid...descend upon the Ohio Valley wringing dogs and humans alike of energy and motivation. Moving from air-conditioned home to air-conditioned office and back again, we're trapped indoors as surely as if there were a foot of snow on the ground. It was only a few months ago that we were longing for warm weather. Now, we find ourselves tired of the hot weather and wishing for cool, crisp, autumn mornings.
It seems we're always looking for the next thing...the next season, the next weekend, the next holiday, the next vacation, when the kids start school, when the kids graduate, when our nests wil be empty, when we will retire...THEN everything will be ok and we'll be happy.
Planning ahead is wise. But, life is what's happening in the meantime.
Our wish is that you find the joy which can be found in your every-day routine. It's called living mindfully, and it's more difficult than it sounds. After all, this world is filled with distractions. But, tuning those distractions out and being truly awake and aware each moment you're alive can bring you great mental and physical benefits. You might start by going outside tonight and doing some star-gazing. Look for Sirius, the Dog Star.
Tomorrow will be here soon enough.
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"April showers bring May flowers."
The great thing about living in the temperate zone is that we get to see earth's re-birth every spring. No matter how many springs we've seen, the miracle of the blooming Crocuses and Jonquils and the bright green of the grass seem like a miracle every year. Mornings may still be frosty, and we all know it can snow on Derby Day, nevertheless, there is no stopping the urge for new life and new growth. We see it in the haze of the Redbuds on the hills, hear it in the birds' busy calls and smell it in the fresh fragrance of the spring breeze.
But this growth, like any, comes at a price. We must weather severe thunderstorms, spring floods and windy March days. We may venture out on a warm March afternoon, but we know we'd be wise to bring a jacket, because a cloud passing in front of the sun can be enough to bring back the winter chill...if only until the cloud blows on by. Only the hardiest of flowers can weather the still cold nights and a hard freeze can surprise us and take away the hope for fresh peaches come summer.
Nothing worthwhile comes easy. Even nature has to work at washing out the faded colors of winter with sudden spring storms, shaking out her dried leaves on the March wind and straining upward toward the sun and springtime. It's a good lesson for us all as we struggle through our trials, large and small every day. But, oh is it worth the work and the wait!
Our wish for you is that as you shake off the chill of winter, you will feel the renewal of spring in yourself and your relationships.
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OCTOBER...A TIME TO MAKE MEMORIES.
Fall is in the air. Bright colors, falling leaves, the smell of woodsmoke and bright blue skies decorate our days. The harvest moon and children dressed in funny costumes light up the night. It's as if Mother Nature, dressed in her most colorful skirts, throws a big party before the cold and grey of winter set in. Our wish is that you join the autumn dance and make some memories with your kids. Following are a few suggestions:
Carve a jack-o-lantern.
Attend a fall festival.
Bob for apples.
Drink some apple cider.
Rake up some leaves and then jump in them.
Dress up for Halloween in funny costumes.
Go on a hay ride.
Take a walk in the woods.
Gather colorful leaves and press them between waxed paper.
Roast hot dogs over a campfire and tell stories about your ancestors.
Eat some candy corn.
Watch Disney's ® Legend of Sleepy Hollow.
Make caramel apples.
Go for a drive just to enjoy the splendid colors of autumn.
LEARNING FROM THE BAD STUFF
Our society is unique in the world and in history. We are a country of optimists. For the most part, we believe everything should go smoothly. Misfortune, bumps in the road and illness may come along from time to time, but our expectation is that the bad stuff is accidental or temporary...that it's not truly a part of our lives, but a fluke.
But, the reality is that without the bad, there is no good. We appreciate wellness so much more after working through a serious or long-term illness. We relish a good meal when we're most hungry. We wonder at the miracle of a new baby after having grieved the death of a loved one.
There is no happiness without sadness, sweet without sour, warm without cool, love without hate or yin without yang. So, we must all take the good with the bad. The question is, what do we do with the negative stuff when it comes along? Do we try to ignore it? Do we complain loud and long? Do we just struggle through?
No...we learn from the bad stuff!
Every bump in the road is an opportunity for learning and growth. If we truly look closely, there is a lesson to be learned from every bad thing that happens to us. When seen from that vantage point, we change from victims of our misfortunes to students of our misfortunes. Somehow, that seems a more positive way of looking at our problems and allows us to feel more in control when those April showers come along.
Our wish for you is that you begin to see your misfortunes as opportunities for learning and for growing some truly lovely May flowers.
May in Kentucky means Derby...the most exciting two minutes in sports.
Thousands of people will flock to Churchill Downs and place their bets on their favorites...carefully chosen by bloodline and "dosage" or jockey or the color of the horse.
What most race fans won't realize is that the gambling begins long before the horses are at the post. Thousands of fillies and colts are foaled in the broodmare barns every spring...all of them with the same birthday...January 1. Breeders gamble on genetics, hoping a certain mare and just the right stud horse will produce a Derby contender. However, only a few will be chosen as good enough to send to the yearling sales. Of those, even fewer will be deemed worthy of the buyers' gamble to buy and train. After training begins, a thousand things can go wrong as the young horses are tested on their immature legs. Some won't have the stamina. Some won't tolerate the starting gate. Some just won't have the "heart."
But a few will have what it takes for the ultimate gamble...the run for the roses. And even then, there are no guarantees. The drama that was Barbaro last year is testament to the fickleness of racing. Even when you think you have a sure thing, sometimes all bets are off.
Life is like that. We all take chances every day of our lives, even though we don't think about it that much. We take a chance on love and get married. We take a chance and quit a job to start a new one. We take a chance and buy our dream home, then bring children into a very chancey world.
Sometimes life throws us. We find ourselves tumbling through the air, wondering why we didn't see it coming. But, as in riding, the important thing is to dust ourselves off and get back up on the horse...the sooner the better. Usually, we can pull ourselves up by our own bootstraps. Other times we may need a leg up...that's when good counseling can help. Either way, the important thing is to finish the race.
Our wish for you this May is that whether you win, place or show...you embrace and enjoy the race that is life...and that you will never take your eyes off the roses.
IT SEEMS THERE IS PLENTY TO WORRY ABOUT THESE DAYS.
The war, the economy, our society...even the upcoming election seems fraught with problems and drama.
Sure, bad things happen. But, good things happen too.
YOU choose where to focus your attention, emotions and energies.
If you choose to focus on the bad things that might happen, you will actually experience more pain from imagined calamaties than you ever will from reality. (Remember Y2K and the crisis which was supposed to occur? How many people...and institutions...spent time, emotions and resources on a calamity which never happened?)
If you choose to focus on the good things which happen in your life and in the world, you will discover your life is full of reasons to be happy and hopeful.
Our wish for you this month is that you remember to balance your worries with your blessings. Chances are, you will find yourself celebrating more and worrying less.
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JANUARY IS THE MONTH FOR REST AND RESOLUTIONS.
The holidays are behind us...Spring is not yet on the horizon. What shall we do with a month that holds promise of short, gray days, cold temperatures and holiday bills in the mailbox?
Perhaps cocooning is the best idea. Cocooning is a term used to define that state of being in which we stay home, gather comforting things around us and wrap ourselves in warmth and family. Cocooning is a time for reading those novels we've been meaning to read, organizing the family photo album, napping on Sunday afternoons with the football game on and watching the winter birds at the feeder.
Though bleak, January is a good time to look inward. Perhaps that's one reason we make New Year's resolutions.
So, let's all resolve to be kinder to ourselves. Let's resolve to honor our bodies with nutritous food, regular exercise and good health habits. Let's resolve to remember and honor our spiritual and emotional selves too by living purposefully and mindfully every moment of every day. Then, let's resolve to show kindness to others...our family first, then our friends and co-workers.
Happy New Year from all of us at Shelby Counseling Associates.
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HOLIDAY BLUES
“It’s the most wonderful time of the year…..
There are holiday greetings and gay happy meetings when friends come to call!
It’s the happ…happiest season of all !” ….or so sings Andy Williams.
But, for many of us, the holidays are something to get through…not something to be celebrated.
There are several faces to holiday depression. Sadness, loneliness, anger and unresolved family conflict all seem to bubble up during the holidays. Financial worries, over-scheduling, overeating, drinking too much, over-excited children and travel create stress even in those of us who look forward to this special time of year.
When did the holidays become something to get through, and how can we change that for ourselves and our families?
PICTURE PERFECT
Pick up any woman’s magazine starting in October and feast your eyes on pictures of sumptuous meals made from scratch on perfectly set tables, homemade decorations, hand-made gifts, perfectly behaved children with shiny faces and skinny models in sparkly holiday dresses. Turn on the TV and see ads for the latest Tickle Me Elmo or cell-phone that does everything but communicate with beings from another planet. Walk through the mall or any superstore and hear the holiday music playing before Halloween. It’s enough to make anyone run screaming into January.
The over-commercialization of the season plus the pressure we put on ourselves to have the “perfect” holiday create unrealistic expectations that none of us can meet. This is no accident. For most retail concerns, the holidays are make-it-or-break-it time. As long as we spend more than they spend on advertising, it’s a good year for them. So, retailers set the standards so high we can never reach them, and we end up spending more money, time and emotional energy than we have in the effort to meet those standards.
Some Solutions:
- Organize and plan ahead for the holidays and be realistic. The most important thing to remember is that the magazines hire stylists, professional decorators and professional models for those perfect home-for-the-holidays tableaus. That’s not real! Tight budgets, runny noses and less-than perfectly wrapped gifts are real. Remember that the tree doesn’t have to be perfect, the kids don’t have to have the latest gadgets, and if the turkey is dry….you can always lay on the gravy. Accept the fact that your holiday can’t be perfect.
- Don’t let the media dictate your holiday activities and buying. Turn it off and tune in to the real meaning of the holidays. This isn’t about putting on a show. It’s about family, friends and celebrating the special meaning it may have for you spiritually.
DO ELVES DO WINDOWS?
Stress and fatigue are another cause of holiday blues. It begins before Thanksgiving with plans for huge dinners and continues through New Year’s Eve with its parties and celebrations. No sooner do we get the house cleaned up after Thanksgiving than it’s time to decorate for Christmas. Then there’s shopping, cooking, wrapping and entertaining…plus meeting obligations at school and church. It’s exhausting. We should all be assigned a Christmas elf to help us get through the hard work of the holidays!
Some Solutions:
- Don’t count on elf assistance. Recruit family members to share the load, but keep your standards realistic. Let the kids help with the gift wrapping and see what sort of creative ideas they have. Make a list of tasks and let family members choose jobs to help out. Make your dinner parties pot luck. Don’t over-commit at school and at church. There is plenty of work to go around and there are plenty of people to help carry the load. Think of delegating the tasks as a way of connecting with family and friends.
THE PRICE WE PAY
It’s so easy to get caught up in the spirit of the season especially where our finances are concerned. After all, we want to do the best we can and make the holidays extra special for those we love. But, having a big holiday at the expense of paying for it the rest of the year…with interest….just doesn’t make sense.
Some Solutions:
THE GOOD, THE BAD and THE DEARLY DEPARTED
Remember the famous picture by Norman Rockwell of the family gathered around the Thanksgiving table? Mom, Dad, Grandma, Grandpa and the kids are all fresh-faced and facing the artist, ready to dig into the Thanksgiving turkey. It’s a beautiful ideal but not the reality for most people. Kids grow up and move away, grandparents pass on, moms and dads divorce and create blended families. Gathering with family in a loving celebration, though an admirable goal, can be difficult and stressful as family conflict simmers under the surface and lost loved ones are grieved.
Some Solutions:
- Realize that if a family member has been lost through death or divorce, things will not be the same. The holidays tend to increase the pain of loss or loneliness. So, don’t try to force family members to maintain traditions that may no longer be meaningful or comfortable for them. Be open to new ideas and traditions for your celebration as your family changes throughout the years. Life is about change. Don’t dwell on the past, but look forward to new traditions.
- Don’t expect everyone to be on their best behavior just because it’s Christmas. Family and marital conflict tend to bubble to the surface during the holidays…ask any law enforcement officer. Increased stress, fatigue and alcohol consumption blended with long-standing hurts and resentments make for an explosive combination. Use caution when making guest lists and take care when serving and using alcohol. Keep your expectations for family harmony realistic so as to avoid disappointment.
IS THAT ALL THERE IS?
Even more common is the post-holiday let-down after January 1. This can result from unrealistically high expectations during the preceding weeks compounded with the excess fatigue and stress from job, family or friends.
Some Solutions:
- If you pace yourself through the holidays you’ll be less likely to experience a huge let-down after New Year’s. Keep in mind that it’s the holiday SEASON. Spread your activities out through the holiday months so that you aren’t in a huge rush...then find yourself with nothing to do.
- Take care of yourself physically and emotionally during the holidays. Get plenty of rest, don’t radically change your diet, work some quiet time into your holidays and take it easy on the alcohol. Excessive drinking will only make depression worse.
- This may be a good time to volunteer for a charitable organization. Soup kitchens and shelters enjoy lots of attention during the holidays, but it wanes afterward. Helping other people will get your mind off the mid-winter blahs. Reach out and make new friends or contact someone you haven’t heard from in awhile.
LET THE SUNSHINE IN
For some people, when the days get shorter the Blues get bluer. This condition, known as Seasonal Affective Disorder or S.A.D. affects millions of people in the winter months. Particularly if you work in artificial light, your exposure to sunlight is greatly reduced as you head to the office before dawn and get home shortly before sunset.
Some Solutions:
- Phototherapy, a treatment involving a few hours of exposure to intense light, is effective in relieving depressive symptoms in patients with S.A.D. Other studies have found that exposure to early morning sunlight was effective in relieving seasonal depression. Recent findings, however, suggest that patients respond equally well to phototherapy when it is scheduled in the early afternoon. This has practical applications for antidepressant treatment since it allows the use of phototherapy in the workplace as well as the home.
- If at all possible, take a break in the morning, at lunch and in the afternoon and get out in the sunlight. Just a few minutes of brisk walking in natural light can make a big difference in your mood for the whole day and help you head off symptoms of S.A.D.
IN CONCLUSION
Holiday stress and unrealistic expectations can trigger feelings of depression. Learn to recognize the symptoms and take appropriate action. If the depression is moderate, you may be able to manage the symptoms by making positive choices in your life. If the symptoms are severe, see your doctor and get professional help.
Sources:
1. Holiday Depression & Stress. National Mental Health Association. 1998. Available online at: http://www.nmha.org/ infoctr/factsheets/103.cfm. Accessed November 16, 2005.
2. Avoiding Holiday Depression and Stress. Mental Health Association of Colorado. 1995. Available online at: http://medicalreporter.health.org/ tmr1295/ holiday1295.html. Accessed November 16, 2005.
3. Holiday Depression. Medical Network, Inc. 1999.
4. Beating the Holiday Blues. Texas Medical Association. 2001. Available online at: http://www.texmed.org/ has/pin/ghh/bhb.asp. Accessed November 16, 2005.
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FEBRUARY WOULD BE A DREARY MONTH WERE IT NOT FOR VALENTINE'S DAY.
Flowers bloom on desks and kitchen tables, colorful cards line shelves in stores and gaily wrapped boxes of chocolate tempt us. Engagement rings are presented on bended knee, wedding ceremonies are held and anniversaries are celebrated. Nearly one billion cards are sent worldwide each year...most of them purchased by women.
Valentine's Day isn't just for lovers, though. In some circles the day is referred to as "Singles Awareness Day!"
As long as we're spreading the love, why not spread it far and wide. Send a Valentine to a single mother, a shut-in or send one to every resident of a local nursing home. Send roses to a senior citizens center or a veterans' hospital. Valentine's Day is a wonderful opportunity to show love to the lonely and isolated among us. And the gift of love given is never as great as the blessings received by the giver.
BEFORE THE DAYS OF AIR-CONDITIONING, APRIL WAS THE MONTH TO OPEN THE WINDOWS AND LET THE FRESH SPRING AIR BLOW THROUGH THE HOUSE.
Windows were washed 'til they sparkled, rugs were taken up, quilts and blankets put away and replaced with chenille bedspreads. Cottons and linens were pulled out of the cedar chest and wools and knits stored away until Autumn.
There was a celebratory mood in homes as soil was turned over for flower beds and porch swings were given a fresh coat of paint. More than chores, these were traditions which helped welcome the coming of Spring.
Our wish for you this April is that you create some springtime traditions of your own.
Take a wildflower walk, plant a Dogwood tree or invite your neighbor over for tea on a warm evening. Open your windows to let the fresh Spring breeze in. Make a celebration of it, because April is full of reasons to rejoice.
IN TODAY'S WORLD OF HIGH TECH GADGETS, THE LINE BETWEEN WORK AND HOME HAS BLURRED.
Cell phones, computers, pagers and PDAs mean work can demand our attention 24/7. But, should it?
Imagine a scale with work responsibilities on one end and family responsibilities on the other. Which would weigh more? On which end should we place the beater part of our time, energy and devotion?
Our wish this September is that you be fully with your family when you are at home. Turn off the technology, have dinner with your kids, help them with their homework and tuck them into bed. The work will always be there. The kids won't. You can't be everywhere at once. And even if you try, at the end of the day you'll feel as if you've been nowhere at all.
A reporter, talking about one of the recent hurricanes, said it was so peaceful in the eye of the storm, he could hear the crickets singing.
We all have that calm spot within us. Our Creator made us with a place deep inside us where we can go to find peace no matter how troubles are swirling around us. We may find it in different ways...prayer, contemplation, meditation or just a quiet walk in the woods on a bright October day. Sometimes we have difficulty finding that peaceful place within us. That's when it is helpful to talk with a pastor or counselor who can help guide us back to it.
Our wish this month is that you will make it your goal to find that calm place in yourself at least once every day. Enter the eye of your storm, be quiet and find your own peace. Listen to the crickets singing.
IN NOVEMBER WE SET ASIDE A DAY TO GIVE THANKS FOR OUR BLESSINGS.
But, isn't it kind of strange that we set aside only one day a year to do this when we are blessed all year through?
People who count or acknowledge their blessings daily live in a constant state of abundance. By that, we mean they feel they have enough and more all the time. On the other hand, people who dwell on what they want but don't have live in a constant state of need. They feel life's blessings have passed them by because they don't acknowledge the abundance surrounding them every day.
Living in abundance, then, is as simple as giving thanks every single day.
Give thanks for the big things...your health, your family, your home...and more importantly for the little things...the sunshine, a good cup of coffee and a safe commute to work. As you develop the habit of giving thanks, you will find your abundance multiplies as you become more aware of the blessings all around you.
A SIGN AT A LOCAL FAST FOOD RESTAURANT SAYS,
"TIMES ARE TOUGH. ALL DRINKS $1.00".
Yes, times are tough. On the other hand, if you're reading this you probably have a roof over your head, electricity, heat, enough to eat and the wherewithal to own a computer.
In times like this, it's important to maintain perspective. Times have been tougher...much tougher. Talk to someone who lived through the Great Depression and/or WWII. Or read the international news in the paper or on the net. Times are much tougher in other parts of the world and have been that way through most of history.
It is important to be informed about what's going on in the world outside your front door. That's what being a good citizen is all about. But don't let the prophets of doom on TV and in the newspaper rule your life.
Our wish is that you look around you and count your blessings. They are most likely many and varied. And you may realize that times are not so tough after all.
When February ends and March begins, nature breathes a sigh of relief. The worst of the dark and cold is over. But, March teases us. A bright blue March sky can suddenly turn gray and send snow flurries whirling through the Crocuses. A March morning’s jacket weather can turn into a warm sunny afternoon only to be followed by frost that night. That’s just the nature of…well…Nature!
It is also the nature of our lives. Warm, happy times are often followed by cold, dark times which are followed by bright, sunny times, followed again by dark, cold times and on it goes.
This March, our wish is that you remember that you couldn’t appreciate the good times without the bad times. And you couldn’t handle the bad times without hope for better times.
Spring is just around the corner!
She wore her yellow sun-bonnet,
She wore her greenest gown;
She turned to the south wind
And curtsied up and down.
She turned to the sunlight
And shook her yellow head,
And whispered to her neighbour:
"Winter is dead." by A.A. Milne
DID YOU KNOW THAT APRIL IS NATIONAL POETRY MONTH?
And no wonder. Spring tends to bring out the poet in all of us. There is something about sunshine, flowers, robins and showers that get the creative juices flowing.
No matter how many spring seasons we see in our lives, they always bring us much to smile about; the first daffodils in bloom in the yard, little girls and boys hunting Easter eggs in their Sunday best, birds singing us awake in the morning, the earthy smell of a newly plowed field or the sound of the spring peepers in the pond. Spring is bursting with raw material for the poet or artist in us all.
Our wish is that you write some poetry of your own this month…whether it’s in the form of a sonnet, a whispered prayer at a sunrise service or a vase full of bright daffodils on your kitchen table. Celebrate spring!
Have you ever watched a pair of Robins gathering material for a nest?
They are relentless in their pursuit of strings, leaves, grass, feathers, small twigs, horse hair, lint…anything that can be woven together to create a snug little nest in the crook of a tree that will be impervious to wind and rain. And if they succeed, there will be beautiful blue speckled eggs to keep warm and hungry baby birds to feed in a few weeks. Those little red-breasted birds with their tiny beaks and tiny brains are goal oriented!
Do you have a plan? Or do you just let the day unfold without any sort of goal in mind?
Do you go to bed every night feeling as if you’ve accomplished something or frustrated that another day has gone by with nothing to show for it?
Most of us do better if we live our lives with goals in mind. They may be short-term goals like getting through all the e-mail on your office computer or long-term goals like training to run a marathon. Goals, when worked toward, give us a sense of purpose and a reason to get out of bed in the morning other than our mundane routine. Goals, when achieved, give us a sense of accomplishment and make us feel good about ourselves and our contributions to our family and our community.
Our wish for you this May is that you set yourself some short-term and long-term goals and begin to work toward them. See if you don’t feel better about how you spend your time when you are working toward achieving something meaningful.
Note: Instead of throwing away your dryer lint, place it in a strawberry carton that you’ve attached to a tree or fence. The Robins will thank you for it.
THERE'S AN OLD SONG THAT GOES, "LET A SMILE BE YOUR UMBRELLA ON A RAINY RAINY DAY."
We've certainly had plenty of rainy days this spring. And for some, it may be tough to smile when faced with yet another messy, rainy commute to work.
On the other hand, we have enjoyed one of the most beautiful springs in recent memory. The grass is lush and green, the blossoms are bright and abundant and the sky seems even bluer when the clouds roll out for a day or two.
The ability to see and remember the beauty of nature on a rainy day is like gathering and rememering good times to help us throughhard times. It is one of the main ingredients of a happy life.
FIREWORKS, ROMAN CANDLES, SPARKLERS, SPINNERS...ALL KINDS OF FIREWORKS ARE DISPLAYED IN THEIR RED, WHITE AND BLUE GLORY IN STORES AND UNDER TENTS THIS MONTH.
But, no matter how bright and colorful their packaging, the real excitement comes only when you add a little spark and light them up.
Sparks fly throughout our lives...the spark of creativity, the spark of faith in our souls, even the romantic spark between a man and woman. Sparks are indicative of heat and friction. Cut wood and stack it and you have a stack of wood. But, rub two sticks together and you get warmth, light, safety and maybe even a hot meal.
Where does your life need a little spark? Do you need some loving heat in your marriage? Do you long for the warmth of a spiritual life? Do you need to take a chance and create a little excitement in your daily routine?
Our wish for you this July is that you allow the sparks to fly in your life. Then enjoy the pyrotechnics.
We all need a little "ooooooooo" and "ahhhhhhhhhh" in our lives!
Visitors to the Kentucky State Fair have the opportunity to see the finest in the art of quilt-making. Quilts are displayed hanging from the ceiling and enclosed in glass display cases in all their bright and varied colors. The quilts include such designs as The Wedding Ring, Crown of Thorns, Flower Basket, Pinwheel, Friendship Garden and many more.
The intricacies of quilt design can be breathtaking. The best quilts are stitched with such geometric precision and such tiny, evenly spaced stitches that it seems almost impossible they were made by hand. Such quilts can take years to create, sell for thousands of dollars and are kept as fine works of art.
But, there is another kind of quilt that is not so precise in its formation. The Crazy Quilt was born of necessity. In days gone by nothing was thrown out and that included old clothing and scraps of fabric which were cut into various irregular shapes and stitched together with quick cross or zig zag stitches. A family’s life could be traced in the fabrics sewn into the quilt…a wedding dress, a baby’s gown, a pair of old overalls, a worn out table cloth. More a necessity than a work of art, the Crazy Quilt swaddled the baby in the cradle, kept the mother warm as she nursed her child in the rocking chair, comforted the elderly in the sick bed and was passed down to the daughter on her wedding day.
As much as we’d all like our lives to be as beautiful and artistic as a blue ribbon quilt, the fact is most of us live Crazy Quilt lives. No matter what our plans, inevitably our days are stitched together in zigs and zags from the fabric that comes our way. For some, that’s an endless source of frustration. They spend all their days trying to make their lives fit into a pre-set, geometric pattern only to find themselves ripping the stitches out over and over again in their pursuit of perfection.
On the other hand, though the stitches of the Crazy Quilt may not be perfect, they’re strong and tight to keep out the cold. The colors may not match, but they speak to the surprises life sends our way. The fabric may be worn, but it is soft and filled with the batting of memories. The pattern may not be geometric, but it is our history and illustrates the connections we have with our family and loved ones.
"The breezes taste
Of apple peel.
The air is full
Of smells to feel-
Ripe fruit, old footballs,
Burning brush,
New books, erasers,
Chalk, and such.
The bee, his hive,
Well-honeyed hum,
And Mother cuts
Chrysanthemums.
Like plates washed clean
With suds, the days
Are polished with
A morning haze."
- John Updike, September
As a child, you may have dreaded the end of summer and the start of a new school year. On the other hand, you may have looked forward to seeing your friends again, playing sports or graduating to the next school grade.
Either way, September brings with it an abundance of sense memories like the sound of the school bus coming over the hill, the smells of school glue and library books , the feel of new shoes being broken in and the sight of hallways lined with lockers.
It is a time of introspection for adults as we watch our children and grandchildren head off to school. How can the time have flown so quickly?
Our wish for you this September is that you embrace the happy memories of September, that you take the time to share those memories with your children and grandchildren, and most important, that you help them create happy memories of their own.
PERSPECTIVE IS EVERYTHING WHEN FACING A MAJOR STORM.
If you’re experiencing it from the International Space Station, it’s a wonder of beauty, color and light. If you are on the sea, it manifests as mountains of crashing waves. If you are on land and in its path, it is torrents of rain, flying debris and flooding.
It’s tough to maintain perspective when you’re drowning in troubles or being blown about by conflict. But making an effort to see the bigger picture may help to lessen the anxiety associated with life’s storms. After all, storms pass, and no matter how bad the damage, lives can be rebuilt.
Our wish is that you resolve to weather life’s storms with an eye toward the big picture. And always remember, the sun will come out again.
(digital image recorded 13:26 GMT, July 15, 2003 by Expedition 7 crew aboard International Space Station)
Our unique American holiday gets lost in the headlong rush towards Christmas.
You won't hear Thanksgiving songs in the stores. But, you will be hearing Christmas carols all month. You won't see shelves packed with Thanksgiving merchandise. But, you will see Christmas merchandise loading the shelves as soon as the Halloween costumes are taken down.
Perhaps we are blessed that Thanksgiving isn't marketed like Christmas and Halloween.
Thanksgiving should be a quiet, peaceful, introspective holiday spent with family and friends. It should be a day to express our appreciation for each other and for all our blessings. It should be a day of enjoying a fire in the hearth, laughter around the dinner table and naps on the couch. It should be a day of hugs, of the spicy aroma of pumpkin pie and of football games on TV or in the crunchy bright leaves in owr own back yards.
Take the time this month to give thanks to the people who make a difference in your life and to God for giving you that life in the first place. We are all truly blessed beyond measure.
We wish you starry nights and sparkling lights,
And happy holiday delights,
Like Christmas bells and first Noels,
And scrumptious homemade kitchen smells.
We wish you happy jingles, excited tingles,
And jolly laughing old Kris Kringles,
With fragrant holly and ho ho's jolly,
And stockings full of toys by golly!
We wish you Christmas trees and cranberries,
And angels' "peace on earth" decrees,
And family meals and children's squeals,
At what the Christmas morn' reveals.
We wish you yuletide mirth and peace on earth,
And wonder at the Christ Child's birth,
And quiet moments by the tree,
While lights and smiles shine merrily.
And on that happy Christmas day,
While choirs sing and children play,
And in the brand new year to be,
We wish you peace, love and tranquility.
JANUARY IS THE MONTH FOR NEW BEGINNINGS!
For many of us, those beginnings take the form of New Year's resolutions. For others, it is just a determination to make positive changes in their lives.
The most common New Year's resolution is weight loss. Some others are to get more exercise, get a better job or learn a new skill.
Whatever your resolutions are for 2010, we hope you'll add one more. Resolve to begin taking care of your emotional self. Pay attention to your feelings, don't hold grudges, learn to forgive, learn how to manage stress and learn new skills for improving your relationships. You'll find that taking care of your emotional self will make all your other New Year's resolutions easier to keep. You'll find lots of ideas right here on our website.
ROMANCE HAS MANY FACES.
It is the blushing excitement of a teenaged crush when newly discovered emotions are felt.
It is the heated gaze of newlywed passion when secret desires are realized.
It is the look of amazement and gratitude a new mother and father give each other over the downy head of their newborn child.
It is the knowing glance of patience and understanding shared by a couple as they grow together through their lives.
Finally, it is the look of sadness softened by anticipation as one looks to the future without the other.
Our wish for you this month is that you stop and appreciate the romance in your life through all its many ages and expressions.
Happy Valentine's Day from all of us at Shelby Counseling Associates.
The sight of a single purple crocus waving gaily at you on a breezy March morning can elicit a sigh of relief as you realize the cold weather will soon be behind you. The song of the first robin of springtime outside the kitchen window can lighten your load on a busy work-day morning. The warmth of the bright spring sun on your face brings a smile, while the smell of ozone in the air before the first spring thunderstorm makes you pause and breathe in that unique springtime feeling.
One crocus, one robin, a ray of sunshine, a whiff of a coming storm…all simple little changes...can make all the difference in how you feel.
Our wish for you this month is that you appreciate the impact little changes can have in your life. Learn to embrace them, appreciate them and make them work for you.
HAVE YOU EVER WONDERED WHY DECORATED EGGS ARE PART OF OUR EASTER TRADITIONS?
Theories vary, but the most common belief is that in Medieval Europe, eggs were forbidden during Lent. So, eggs gathered during that time period were preserved by boiling them. They were then served on Easter Sunday and were considered a prized gift to children and servants.
Orthodox Christians painted eggs bright red to symbolize the blood of Christ. In Armenia, eggs were decorated with pictures of Christ and the Virgin Mary. In Poland and Ukraine, eggs were often painted silver and gold and hidden.
In some traditions, the egg represents re-birth. The hard shell represents Christ’s tomb, the cracking of which represents the opening of the tomb and the egg the resurrection.
As you color eggs with your children and grandchildren this year, talk to them about what the tradition means. It is a great opportunity to pass on the deeper meanings of one of our most beloved holiday traditions.
Happy Easter and Happy Spring from all of us at Shelby Counseling Associates!
For those of us who live in the Bluegrass State, the first Saturday in May heralds the return of horse racing, roses and Derby Pie®.
But, did you know that May 1st is Mother Goose Day? May is also Better Hearing and Speech month. The Celts and Romans celebrated May Day (May 1st) with drinking, dancing and merriment…sort of like we witness in the infield on Derby Day!
Mexicans celebrate Cinco de Mayo to commemorate a battle for independence in the city of Puebla on the morning of May 5. Florence Nightingale’s birthday is May 12, Mother’s Day is May 9, and May 15th is Armed Forces Day…set aside by President Harry S. Truman as a day for citizens to thank members our military and veterans for their service to our country.
Memorial Day…once known as Decoration Day…was originally set aside as a day to remember our fallen soldiers and decorate their graves. Nowadays it heralds the beginning of summer and “white sales” at the local stores and malls.
And here’s something to celebrate! The first ice cream freezer was patented on May 29, 1884!.
Whether you attend a Derby party, dance around a May Pole or enjoy some home-made, hand-cranked ice cream with your mom, our wish is that you find something to celebrate this month.
Happy May from all of us at Shelby Counseling Associates!
School is out and the kids are home for the summer. The school day rush is over for awhile. There are no reports due or exams looming on the horizon. It’s time for summer camps, family vacations and sunny days at the pool. For sleeping late in the morning and catching fireflies at night. Life is a little more laid back and schedules aren’t so tight.
Our wish for you this month is that you take this opportunity to reconnect. Have fun and enjoy each other. Kids grow up so fast. Treat these summer days as the treasures they are.
Have a great summer!
For those of us who are middle-aged or older, July brings back memories of playing in the creek or splashing in the local public pool to cool off. If you were a city kid, you may have run after the ice cream truck to get an icy treat for a dime. If you were a country kid, your mom probably froze Kool-Aid® into "ice pops" which dripped sticky purple and orange syrup down your arms as you enjoyed their cold sweetness in the relative cool of the front porch.
But, things have changed. Chances are, your kids and grandkids are parked in front of a television, computer or video game system these hot summer days...and they're missing out on all the fun!
Our wish for you is month is that you grab your kids and grandkids, make some frozen treats, slice up a cold, sweet watermelon or better yet, crank up a big tub of homemade banana ice cream and share it in the shade of your own front porch. Then play in the sprinkler or have a big water balloon fight with the kids. When it gets dark, pull out the sparklers, gaze at the Milky Way and chase fireflies.
Your kids and grandkids probably won't remember those TV shows and video games when they're grown, but you'll definitely be making summertime memories with ice pops and sparklers!
Hot, humid, sultry, sweltering...the end of July through much of August has been referred to as the "dog days" going as far back as the early Roman civilization when Sirius, the brightest star in the Canis Major constellation was called the dog star.
The Old Farmer's Almanac spoke of the dog days as the season when rainfall averages were at their lowest.
Today, many people think "dog days" refers to the laziness of the family dog which spends these hot, humid days napping in the shade. Perhaps that's a good lesson for us humans.
Our wish for you this month is that you enjoy some quiet time with your family before the back-to-school chaos begins. Take a lesson from the family dog and slow down. Be a little lazy. Re-charge. Rest up. Even take a nap in the shade.
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